"Rapture Winner"
updates served on MWF
Showing posts with label rapture. Show all posts
Showing posts with label rapture. Show all posts
Monday, May 23, 2011
The "post-rapture post... rapture post rapture post rapture" post
Lo and behold, we are only two days into the apocalypse and already things have taken a turn toward mediocrity. Congrats to Jon Heder for being the sole winner of this, our most recent rapture. We're sure someone out there is going to miss you.
"Rapture Winner"
"Rapture Winner"
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Our bid for the next WeCanKnow ad campaign
To Whom It May Concern,
I am messaging you on behalf of our company, OPRE Designs (an acronym for "Other People Ruin Everything"- as fellow Christians, you can probably relate to the sentiment). We are a Christian-based design firm specializing in all things holy! We have done work for a number of deserving churches and were board members of a committee to pray for the advertising campaign behind the Left Behind Series. The ad campaign for your website, www.wecanknow.com, caught our attention, but not for the reasons you might have hoped.
The advertisements we saw were, at best, "back-row Baptist" quality- the kind of ad that shows up for Christmas and Easter to keep up the appearances with family, but hammers like a Roman the other 363 days of the year. Is this the message you want to be sending in such important times? We didn't think so. How can you expect to convert non-believers when their sinful eyes are distracted by lazy typography and unnecessary drop shadows?
We understand how busy you are, orchestrating the apocalypse and inciting panic in the hearts of the simple minded. You shouldn't be bothered by advertisers and dealing with such worldly nonsenses. Let us do that for you!
We can't help but believe that Mr. Camping's predicted date of May 21, 2011 (and his other previously set raptures) have not been taken seriously by the masses, nor by the Lord, because of sloppily prepared ad campaigns. When the good Mr. Camping, bless him, schedules his next rapture, let us do the advertising for you!
Billboards are just the beginning! Imagine an ad campaign so deafening Metatrons would cover their ears! Together, we could make a campaign not even God himself could ignore (like those devilishly catchy iPod commercials).
We anxiously await your response. Perhaps we can set a phone conference for next Monday, the 23rd.
Your Brothers in Christ,
Joseph Carpenter and Jordan Fisher
I am messaging you on behalf of our company, OPRE Designs (an acronym for "Other People Ruin Everything"- as fellow Christians, you can probably relate to the sentiment). We are a Christian-based design firm specializing in all things holy! We have done work for a number of deserving churches and were board members of a committee to pray for the advertising campaign behind the Left Behind Series. The ad campaign for your website, www.wecanknow.com, caught our attention, but not for the reasons you might have hoped.
The advertisements we saw were, at best, "back-row Baptist" quality- the kind of ad that shows up for Christmas and Easter to keep up the appearances with family, but hammers like a Roman the other 363 days of the year. Is this the message you want to be sending in such important times? We didn't think so. How can you expect to convert non-believers when their sinful eyes are distracted by lazy typography and unnecessary drop shadows?
We understand how busy you are, orchestrating the apocalypse and inciting panic in the hearts of the simple minded. You shouldn't be bothered by advertisers and dealing with such worldly nonsenses. Let us do that for you!
We can't help but believe that Mr. Camping's predicted date of May 21, 2011 (and his other previously set raptures) have not been taken seriously by the masses, nor by the Lord, because of sloppily prepared ad campaigns. When the good Mr. Camping, bless him, schedules his next rapture, let us do the advertising for you!
Billboards are just the beginning! Imagine an ad campaign so deafening Metatrons would cover their ears! Together, we could make a campaign not even God himself could ignore (like those devilishly catchy iPod commercials).
We anxiously await your response. Perhaps we can set a phone conference for next Monday, the 23rd.
Your Brothers in Christ,
Joseph Carpenter and Jordan Fisher
Keep your fingers crossed for us, fellow believers :)
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